GOOD LORD! - IT'S...
FOREST THUMP
Here's literally EVERYTHING you need to know for your long weekend in some glorious woods, up a track in the middle of precisely nowhere.
You're coming to camp, dance, eat nice food, hang out and get mashed up with your mates and those brand new friends you'll promise to stay in touch with afterwards, but can't, cos you were cross-eyed and squinting at your phone on the dancefloor at 4 in the morning when you decided to swap numbers. You'll never learn, will you?
WHEN's WHAT?
a high level overview of the weekend's enjoyment smorgasbord
Fri.
12-6
This is when you should be arriving
6-9
Woodfellas Pizzas @ Rave Shack Square
+ The Love Machine with the artist formerly known as Dom
+ Philip's Wine Tasting Desk
8-late(ish)
DJ Jane
DJ Stu
late(ish) - whenever
bonfire / guitars / chill
SAT.
10
Breakfast at the house
12-4
more arriving
4-8
Indian street food @ Rave Shack Square
+ The Love Machine with the artist formerly known as Dom
+ Philip's Wine Tasting Desk
+ DJ Lise and friends
8-8.30
Giving Thanks Ceremony + Group Photo @ Rave Shack Square
8-10
DJ Simon
10.15
Armageddon Fireworks @ the Pandemic
11-4
Get your rave on with DJ's
Jane
Alex + Kai
Sas
SUN.
11
Breakfast at the house
11-2
Tidying up please
Rest of the day
Saying goodbyes, taking your leave and cadging lifts or staying til Monday.
BUT FIRST, THANK YOU
Without our most excellent friend and woodland wizard, Philip*, this woodn't** be happening
Hollington Wood is Philip's life and soul. His family have owned it for donkey's years - its a deeply spititual and wonderfully nurtured place of profound natural beauty and peace - which he lovingly suggested we disrupt for a weekend. So, when you inevitably see Philip, please make a bee-line for him, say hi, give him a big hug of gratitude and offer to share whatever you have, cos Forest Thump is as much down to him as anyone else.
*And also to Carlos, who cancelled his Airsoft game this weekend so the Thump could happen - massive, effusive thanks goes to him too - but I couldn't find a photo, so I've put you in the footnotes Carlos - hope that's OK. LMK if its not.
** yes, I know, clever aren't I?
DIRECTIONS
where we are and how to get here
1.
Postcode
put this in your map thing*
MK46 5JH
2.
Address
this is where we live
Hollington Wood House
Hollington Wood
Emberton
Bucks
MK46 5JH
* The postcode isn't always accurate, so here's a map, just in case. We're right next to Special Ops Airsoft and not where the big red pin marker is. Don't ask us why, send a postcard to Google, its their doing. There are more detailed directions, if you need them at the bottom.
DRESS CODE
attire for Saturday night fever
Oh, yes, if the background wasn't clue enough, it's Neon Knights and Dayglo Dames...
...but if you don't identify as either - then bring your truth as neon fireflies, brighter sparkles, spangled spangles or woodland jangles (? me neither...)
But I'm a lazy fucker who can't be bothered dressing up...
That's not in the spirit of things. Buck your ideas up sonny Jim!
That's not fair, I don't have any dayglo shiz..
If you don't own anything day glo, then bright colours or crazy patterns are great under UV. Even white looks like you made some sort of an effort in UV, so get your rave gloves out!
I'm allergic to gloves.
There's no getting out of it. We've got a selection of UV face paint, wigs and other stuff to dress up in, so if even we have to pin you down to get your glo on, then you know we will.
ARRIVAL TIMEs
your window of arrival-related opportunity
Friday
PLEASE get here between 12 and 6.
Why? Cos food starts at 6 and we don't want to miss it showing your late asses where to park and put your tent.
Saturday
PLEASE arrive between 12 and 4.
Why? Cos you'll have more time to set up and chill before shit gets real.
Sunday
PLEASE feel free to leave whenever you damned well please (but after you've tidied up)
MAP
you'll probably forget everything on here
CAMPING
tent life shiz type info
Where can I put my tent?
There is one main campsite - Eagle's Rest. It's on the map we'll give you and to be really helpful, we'll show you where it is when you get here.
And other than that?
You can pretty much pitch your tent wherever you fancy - deep in the woods or near the house, but not right next to the Rave Shack, cos that would get in the way. And be loud. Though handy for the dancefloor. So on balance...
That sounds great, is there anything else I need to know?
Glad you asked - yes there is - its pretty wild woodland and though there are clearings, there are brambles and the odd tree stump too, so careful where you set up.
Will I need special tools and stuff?
You might need a mallet to get tent pegs in, so try and pack one. It might be worth bringing an extra ground sheet, a tarp and padding / bedding to sleep on - perhaps a camp bed or even an air mattress, if you've got one. And a kitchen sink.
Is there more?
Potentially. Please remember tent pegs, air bed blower, lights and a chair or two, a hammock, maybe a picnic rug or something else to sit on. Like your arse.
And finally?
Only bring biodegrable wet wipes. But don't forget all the other stuff too.
Ah! Almost forgot...
There will be a wheelbarrow to get your gear to and from your chosen campsite - but don't think about keeping it or using it as part of your camp - please return it to the car park so somone else can benefit from its wheeled awesomeness.
VANNING
for those of you with beds on wheels
Do we get special treatment?
Nope.
Not even electricity?
Soz, there are no hook ups. Bummer.
Aww, that's not fair - anything else we don't get?
Water supply in the woods is limited (as in, there is none unless you dig a borehole) so come with charged batteries and full tanks please.
Sounds reasonable, what about toilets?
There are lots of loos here, so use those, but if you have a toilet in your van, remember you cannae empty it, so please take it away with you, if you'd be so kind.
I can and I will, but what if I need to leave early?
If you need to leave early on Sunday (what are you thinking?), let us know and we'll work out an exit strategy.
DON'T FORGET
some stuff you should remember
- Head torch and / or tent lamp
- A mug for hot drinks
- A Spork
- Bath towel and / or beach towel
- Swimmers or cozzie for if you're having a sauna or want to lounge in the hot tub when you're high or something (this isn't a suggestion or recommendation btw, we just know one of you bright sparks will think its a good idea and the rest of you will follow llike the sheep you are)
- Maybe dressing gown / robe if you're doing the above
- Pool slides and / or flip flops
- Sensible shoes (there will be an inspection and / or parade at some point)
- Wellies or walking boots
- Rain coat and warm clothes in case of inclement weather
- Bug spray and bite cream
DriNK!
like your life depends on it*
-
There will be beer, wine, soft drinks, some mixers and some hard liquor
-
Tea and Coffee are available
-
Bring your own spirits if you want to do shots all night or something daft like that
-
You can fill your boots any time of day or night at either of the 2 - that's right 2 - bars
-
REMEMBER when you take a beer/ wine, PLEASE REPLACE and put some in the ice bucket bins for cooling! That way the fun never stops! And we don't have to run round grumpily filling things up and doing boring shit like that rather than having a great time with doing more fun stuff than this
-
Please recycle your cans, glass and plastic bottles and DON'T just toss them nonchalantly into the woods like a scumbag littering twat
* It actually does. So please bring a water container of some description, to hold the water you need to stay alive and then you can drink it in your tent (other locations for water consumption are available) when you're thirsty and hydrate when you want to and don't die becuase you've forgotten to drink anything.
FOOD
no matter what you think, you'll need it at some point
-
Friday Feast
Between 5 and 8, the lovely people from Woodfellas pizza will be making us very delicious pizzas (uh-huh, there are vegan and veg options) Its a rolling buffet, so just turn up when you're hungry and fill your starving faces. -
Scrumptious Saturday
Between 4 and 8, extremely tasty hand held Indian Street Food by Haydrabdi Dhabi will be coming out of the tandoori. -
Breakfast
Breakfast will be laid out - just help yourself, bread for toasting, cereals and fruit and yoghurt is the vibe. - Snacks
There will be snacks crisps and fruit etc. avilable all weekend - please bring your own special foods if that's how you roll.
IF YOU HAVE ANY FOOD ALLERGIES PLEASE LET US KNOW
Toilets
sweet relief on the ones and twos
-
Please pee in the woods - Philip (our lovely friend who owns the woods) actively wants nutritious wee to trickle down into the woodland economy, as it were.
-
NO LOO ROLL though please. Drip dry only.
-
.Number 2s in loos please. There are 5 toilets at the house, two long drops at Eagles Rest and one at Carlos' Corner
-
WE ARE NOT ON MAINS SEWAGE - So please nothing down the loo other than no.2s and loo paper. There will be paper bags and bins for sanitary ware - ladies.
Showers!
2 minute rules
So - showers.
With over 100 of us and one hot water tank, it makes having a shower a bit tough, so PLEASE HAVE A 2 MINUTE SHOWER - you're not that filthy and you don't need to clean every surface.
Why? Well, the longer shower, the less hot water there is for everyone else and the sooner the tank is empty.
When the tank is empty, it has to fill again and then it has to heat up - filling and heating the whole tank takes about an hour. So anyone who has a shower after you've washed every crevice 3 times, shampooed and conditioned your hair, then done it all again for good measure, is going to get stuck with a cold shower. And that's not fair now, is it?
THERE IS AN OUTDOOR SHOWER BY THE SAUNA - HAVE A SAUNA THEN USE THE SHOWER AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE!
Your Rubbish
there's no need for that
Minimum impact is the name of the game. Please DO NOT chuck any litter of any kind in the woods. If you do, we have a biometric tracker that can match DNA and we will hunt you down like a dog. We will have wooden disposbale cutlery and that kind of stuff, which we will burn in the fires around the place. We'll use cans as much as possible and recycle.There will be recycling points - if in doublt ask. Please don't put food in bins which are for reccyling. We will have separate green recycling food bins. Please DO NOT put cigarette butts or empty vapes on the floor -find an ashtray or a bin FFS.
We got the power
where to charge your electric guzzling gizmos
We will have some charging stations in the house with USB points for phones and all that, but please, please, please bring and mark your own cables and USB plugs.
Don't you dare bugger about plugging your shit in down at the Rave Shack or you will have to go on the naughty step.
Party goodies
BYO Mofos
Please come with your own supplies or arrange that kind of thing between you beforehand or something.
Also please bring any medicines you need such as paracetmol and suchlike, cos we can't give this out.
Helping out
Just do it
Lots of you lovely, lovely peope have already asked if you can help and the immediate answer is YES! We need people to marshall, park people, help man(or woman) the bar, tidy up, put up lights, take down lights and all that groovy, but irksome behind the scenes stuff that goes into making everything such seamless fun.
Please let us know if you want help and we'll lay some tasks on you, man.
DIRECTIONS
more where we are and how to get here
And for those of you who need their hands holding, here's a very detailed pdf containing every directional requirement you could wish for, and more.
disclaimer
you got this far, so you might as well read it
Please let us know if you have any allergies. And so too any medical conditions that you know about. This is a woodland setting where there are trip hazzards, roots, brambles, nettles and probably zombies. Worth noting that there are trees everywhere and sometimes branches fall off them. We will also have open fires around and candles, so keep your eye out for flames where they shoudln't be. If you chose to use the Woodland Spa, Hot Tub, Cold Plunge or cold shower you do so at your own risk. And fianlly, please hydrate extra lots!!!