#HTE

The Weekly Design Roast, #6

“The difficulty of getting in and out of this thing is well worth the tradeoff of owning furniture that pays homage to scorpions.”

“As an architect, I like to have control. With staircases, it’s always bothered me that my clients could choose which foot to place on which step. With this design, I am able to dictate which steps I want you to use your right foot on, and which are for your left foot. You use these the way I decide you use them.”

“I was going for maximum footprint, minimal usable storage space.”

“I didn’t have enough time to finish the project, but I can sell this one ‘in the room’–I’ve already got a bullshit speech prepared about 'the majesty of trees,’ et cetera.”

“Sure, the hangers are a little pointy at both ends, but I think consumers will be delighted that you can take all of the clothes off of them and assemble them into a perfect cylinder to impress visitors. I estimate the average user will do this at least once a week.”

“I’ll never run out of toilet paper again.”

“Three things I like: Relaxing, reading, and spilling spare change onto my potted plants.”

“When dining, I like to have a white cylinder of light blocking my visibility of the person across from me. I also love this thing because after my guests leave and I close it up, the room is dominated by a hulking white pod.”

“What’s the big deal? Just wash your hands after you use it, you puss. This is a space-saving design.”

“Look–you told me the bike lane needed drainage, but you weren’t specific about how bicycle tires work. So I don’t think this is my fault.”