#HTE

There’s Speculation that Apple is Designing a Car—Here’s What We Think the “iCar” Experience Will Be Like

News broke yesterday that Apple hired yet another Tesla designer to join their design team, bringing back previous speculations that Apple is working on designing a car. 

Based on design decisions made by Apple in the past, we’ve put together our best guess at what the “iCar” experience might be like:

iCar is autonomous, but in order to brake or turn, you need to say “Hey Siri, brake” or “Hey Siri, turn left”. Siri doesn’t often hear or listen to you, but when she does it’s quite a seamless experience.

iCar’s gas tank is not compatible with most gas stations, therefore dongles will be required in order to to fill up on gas. Dongles will be conveniently placed in the trunk of each iCar upon purchase. If you lose or forget your dongle (which is likely), replacements will be available for $439 a pop.

As a way to say thank you for switching your entire life over to their product family, Apple will pre-install U2’s greatest hits onto all iCar operating systems. Upon entering the iCar, a U2 song of the driver’s choice will automatically play (think It’s a Beautiful Day, With Or Without You or Sunday Bloody Sunday). If you try to delete U2’s greatest hits, well, you can’t. Sorry. 

Taking a cue from the new iPad Pro’s camera, the iCar will feature volcano head- and taillights because seriously what’s the point of an aerodynamic car anyways?

iCar does not have keys because your face is your key now. That’s right, Face ID is the only way to unlock the iCar. Jony was really pulling for fingerprints, but it’s almost 2019 and we’re beyond that. Carrying a large load of groceries and need to open your trunk to put them inside? You better make sure your face is still visible to iCar. 

iCar will only be compatible with iPads, iPods, AirPods, Macbooks and Apple Pencils releasing after 2020, so you can look forward to replacing all of your Apple devices very soon!