#HTE

In Case You Missed It, Here’s What Yesterday’s Solar Eclipse Looked Like

Yesterday our planet experienced a solar eclipse, that odd phenomenon where the sun, the moon and the Earth are lined up as if the sun is a cue ball, the moon is the eight-ball and Earth is the pocket.

As scientists have explained, the rare event only occurs when Earthlings have paid ample fealty to the sun god through sacrifice, tribute or by performing certain types of rhythmic dances. Citizens of Indonesia and Micronesia were apparently the most pious this time around, as they were treated to a view of a total eclipse; Australia and parts of Southeast Asia only rated a partial eclipse due to their lackluster, half-assed worshipping.

Folks gathered at locations around the world to watch the event, either in-person or via video feed. NASA, setting up camp on an atoll in Micronesia, unsurprisingly captured the best footage and had the best camera gear. So if you missed it, here’s their recording of the four-minute event:

(Those moments when the sun suddenly flickers brighter or darker are presumably not natural; I imagine the cameraman was stopping the lens up and down.)

As you saw and heard in the video, many observers spotted the tall, reddish protrusion near the 11 o'clock position of the sun. While the NASA narrator keeps referring to this as a Corona, it seems highly implausible that a beer company would be able to launch and land a bottle that large onto the surface of the sun. Just goes to show you that those folks over at NASA aren’t as smart as they make themselves out to be.